A Beautiful Composition of Broken Read online

  most of my critics

  are only critical of me

  because i continue

  to move beyond

  the limitations

  they’ve set on my craft

  and most of the hate

  i’ve received from other writers

  is derived from

  their inability to achieve

  what i’ve achieved

  i am totally accepting

  of their defeat

  i am completely content

  with winning

  above the rest.

  when you insult my words

  you insult my readers

  but insulting my art, me

  and my supporters

  does nothing but keep you

  stranded beneath us

  royal.

  Samantha King

  queen of my future

  a ruler on her own

  a warrior

  through and through

  a painful thought.

  it’s the memories

  the painful ones

  what we remember

  poisons the heart

  higher up.

  you belong to the night

  next to the brightest stars

  in sync with the moon

  above the earth

  your own reflection.

  i was a mirror

  in our relationship

  and maybe you left

  because you didn’t like

  what you saw

  a beautiful mess.

  i traveled to the messiest

  parts of her mind

  and found beauty there

  forever summer.

  you make winters feel hot

  i’m in desperate need

  of your warmth

  sad melodies.

  you helped me relate

  to the saddest of songs

  my heart ran blue

  because of you

  introverted war.

  it’s like i want to be alone

  but i want to be touched

  in daydreams.

  she lives inside of her head

  to escape the reality

  surrounding her

  never felt like home.

  home is where the heart

  can feel secure and safe

  i was homeless

  when loving you

  for love, for you.

  but i’d drain the entire ocean

  to keep you from drowning

  an empty love.

  you said enough

  to make me believe

  but never enough

  to keep me from leaving

  foolish denial.

  i let you break me

  then waited for you

  to fix me

  6:05 a.m.

  it happens

  you know

  sometimes

  broken people

  break others

  you were allowed.

  what truly hurts

  is that i was happier

  before you arrived

  and letting you in

  was like inviting chaos

  into my life

  allowing you

  to invade my peace

  all for love, irony.

  isn’t it ironic

  how the need for love

  draws us closer to hate

  the love you desire.

  the best kind of love

  is the one that never ends

  it’s there whenever you need it

  it holds on without letting go

  lights.

  you need only to be with someone

  who brings out the light in you

  be.

  be who you are

  stand tall in what you believe

  accept yourself

  don’t wait for the world

  to love you

  love is many things.

  another person’s sexual orientation

  has nothing to do with you

  and your criticism of who

  they choose to love

  is unimportant and irrelevant

  love, your way.

  do not hide your love

  behind the hatred of others

  do not allow others

  to dictate who

  or how you love

  deep heaven.

  kiss the hell out of the one

  who helps you find heaven

  on earth

  be loud.

  if women

  were silent

  the world

  would lose

  its voice

  if women

  held back

  the world

  would lose

  its strength

  6:31:05 a.m.

  the supporting of women

  the encouraging of women

  the motivation of women

  doesn’t in any way

  equate to hating men

  6:34:30 a.m.

  just because

  you are kind to her

  doesn’t mean

  she owes you sex

  6:37:10 a.m.

  do not trade in your strength

  to make him feel stronger

  do not exchange your voice

  for his comfort

  everything is everything.

  i will always be too much

  of everything

  for someone who is incapable

  of being everything to me

  yours truly.

  your beauty is yours

  your body is yours

  you are yours

  you don’t exist for them

  a danger.

  sadly

  the biggest danger to us all

  are the people we trust

  they have the keys

  to violate us in the worst of ways

  you’re not worthy.

  disliking you as much

  as you hate me

  would require

  an emotional commitment

  that you don’t deserve

  moving on, self-love.

  it ended

  because i realized

  that you didn’t love me

  like i love me

  none.

  no tolerance for

  racism

  sexism

  and homophobia

  zero tolerance

  for anyone

  who thrives upon hatred

  8:29:10 a.m.

  without a doubt

  i can

  and i will

  free myself

  below busy feet.

  the busy have no time

  to respond to the criticism

  from those hating below them

  Aries.

  the goal is to avoid boredom

  and never grow content with being lazy

  or doing nothing

  the mundane.

  i seem to attract hatred

  and criticism

  from people who are content

  with achieving less than me

  i find that these individuals

  travel in packs, fueled by hatred

  or their inability to accomplish

  the things that the people they hate on

  have done

  they’re always so mundane

  and boring with their lackluster

  and unoriginal insults

  screaming loud but their voices

  muffled under thei
r ignorance

  stretching out their bitter, short arms

  toward people like me

  yet i remain out of reach

  almost untouchable

  and they’ll always be laughable

  to say the least

  more reading, more peace.

  i’ve gone mad

  and the library

  is my asylum

  my peace of mind

  my heaven on earth

  from voices, we evolve.

  speak, woman

  tell me everything

  tell the world

  do not be silent

  yell if you need to

  i want to listen

  i want to learn from you

  i want to evolve

  based upon your wisdom

  you inspire a difference

  come, speak

  change the world

  everyone and their opinions.

  do not allow the path

  of your life

  to be altered by people

  who have no path

  to follow

  painful conclusion.

  no one is hurting more

  than the people

  who are silent about the pain

  that lives within their souls

  why i write.

  i write poetry

  because it’s much easier

  to write it down

  than to say it out loud

  without breaking down

  lying in the mirror.

  you can lie to others

  sometimes successfully

  but you can’t tell a lie

  to yourself successfully

  because no matter what you do

  every night before you fall asleep

  the truth will look you in the eye

  and burn a hole within your mind

  inspired self.

  be inspired

  by the pain you feel

  and your heart’s ability

  to keep fighting

  you are powerful

  mighty beyond measure

  she, godly.

  she could calm the ocean

  with a glance

  she could quiet a storm

  with a whisper

  all-powerful

  all-beautiful and all-knowing

  she’s a woman

  and that made her

  some sort of god

  broken, a healing process.

  being broken is the beginning

  it’s the process of rediscovering

  what it means to feel whole once more

  some of you may believe

  that getting hurt is the end

  but the pain that you experience

  gives way to a path that may lead

  to something more beautiful

  or stronger than what you’ve had

  it’s okay to feel hurt

  there’s nothing wrong

  with feeling broken

  the pain is never easy

  but never be ashamed

  to feel whatever it is you feel

  do not think less of yourself

  because of someone’s inability

  to do more or give you more

  of what you deserve

  our ending, new beginnings.

  i’ll be the one

  you couldn’t keep

  i’ll be the memory

  that hurts the most

  i’ll be the greatest loss

  in your life

  i’ll be the one

  you’ll never be able

  to come back to

  all because i love me more

  than you ever could

  someone, searching for you.

  you don’t know it yet

  but there is love lurking

  around the corner

  there is something truly beautiful

  waiting for you in the distance

  you don’t know it yet

  but there is someone

  searching for someone

  with a love like yours

  there is someone

  searching for someone

  who can love them

  the way you do

  it gets better, hold on.

  three years ago

  i wrote myself a note

  i wrote a letter to others

  as well

  detailing the pain

  and suffering that lived

  within my soul

  three years ago

  in that letter, the note

  i wrote down from my heart

  my mind, my wretched soul

  detailing what was next

  a desire to take my last breaths

  three years ago

  i wanted to die

  three years later

  i feel so fucking alive

  :38 after.

  away i go

  conflicted

  broken like glass

  for a love

  that wasn’t real

  no space.

  you see

  this is what i get

  trying to force my love

  in places

  where it was never meant

  to fit

  OCD I.

  i understand

  no judgment here

  we all need to be

  in control of something

  you don’t have to be ashamed

  you don’t need to hide this from me

  OCD II.

  your ability

  to be orderly

  is not some disease

  your desire

  to maintain control

  is not some disease

  your rituals

  are simply several attempts

  to get it right

  your desire

  to achieve order

  is not a disorder

  a beautiful composition.

  i wanted to tell you

  that the OCD is not a curse

  it’s just a gift that the world

  doesn’t understand

  i wanted to tell you

  that the anxiety you feel

  is just proof of your ability

  to feel deeper levels of emotion

  that others may not be able

  to comprehend

  i wanted to tell you

  that the depression you experience

  causes you to view the world

  from a perspective that goes

  beyond the surface

  a surface that so many minds

  can’t handle

  and that in itself makes you rare

  and mighty, you’re strong

  the world says you’re broken

  but that just means you’re beautiful to me

  untitled II.

  you are beautiful

  you are powerful

  you are rare

  you are grand

  you are majestic

  your broken

  is a gift

  the pain

  will make you

  stronger

  keep fighting

  continue to survive

  i’ll fight beside you

  April 1st.

  she doesn’t have to look good

  for you

  wear makeup for you

  be thin for you

  cook and clean for you

  she is not for you

  she doesn’t belong to you

  a true form of love.

 
real love isn’t something

  you force

  real love is not something

  you compete for

  real love will never have you

  compromise your peace and joy

  April 2nd I.

  demand the love you deserve

  and be willing to walk away

  from anyone who refuses

  to reciprocate the love

  you provide

  April 2nd II.

  no woman should feel like

  she has to try harder for someone

  who isn’t trying for her

  April 2nd III.

  it’s not your fault

  you were never the problem

  you can’t be everything

  to someone

  who deserves nothing

  from you

  i now know.

  you could never be

  what i needed